As many states are removing restrictions regarding hair salons, barbar shops and tattoo parlors. I find that I am also breaking out of my home to explore the world. I have the option to use a cane while walking with my husband. I find it hard to understand how in 7 weeks, my body has forgotten how to walk. Part weakness and part body memory. I was able to take a ride and not be in pain so I will go to the bone doctor and the hair salon this week.The feeling of accomplishment and freedom is heady.I will remember my mask as I go to complete my errands. My husband has been my cheer leader and my helper in this time of healing.Last evening, he got out all the ingredients I would need to make quiche. I was able to prepare the dish and he even helped with clean up!Here is a poem to express the euphoric this feels.Euphoria Though social distancing is still in place,Restrictions for more businesses and services are lifted.II find that I cautiously venture outside my home.I still need the assistance of my husband and a cane,but the joy of a healing body and community is heady.May we as a people start to heal our difference and know that it will take time and invested energy.We can build up the health of the community but don’t forget to social distance and use your masks.
I was asked what does a blind person put on their screen saver? I had to think about this. My latest one is a picture of my two year old niece wearing a poncho that I knitted for her.. I have pictures of my fiber art work and photos of my brother, Mike and my father Bruce after they passed. I usually want to share a photo so that is the quickest way to share a photo or memory.Another question I am asked is “What is on your playlist”” I have songs from Laura Nyro and other eclectic songs that I love to sing along with. I chose those that raise my spirit or make me laugh.Finally, I have been asked,”Do you dream with sight?” It depends on what I am dreaming about. If it is something that I have seen in the past, I will see it in my dreams. I often combine the use of a cane and braille in these dreams to to remind me that I am blind. I will use the white cane but I will see what I am doing.I find people’s questions preferable to their wondering. I love the questions from the young the best. One little boy wanted to know if he took my cookie, would I notice , I leaned close to him and whispered,”Try it and see!”The world is opening up restaurants are serving with social distanceing, hair salons and barbers are trimming, libraries will be starting curbside service. I will be choosey in what I do and where I go. The virus is still in the population, just hidden.CoronaComes like a thief in the nightOther people don’t think it will happen to themReality says that anyone can have itOnly a test will tell you for sureNose swab and an hour laterAll is well at that time and moment
I have been thinking of food lately. So this blog will be about food and poetry.Poetry is to the soul ,what bread is to the body.I have always enjoyed apples and I am trying to eat healthy.Applesweet, tart, juicy red, yellow, green round globesSliced in half, revealing hiddenseed starsI treat myself to milk and cookies that have been provided by friends.There is nothing like a frozen cookie.Hard, crisp, crunchy,It dips into a glass of milk,
without breaking apart.I suck the milk from the cookie before biting it.Pure bliss !NoodlesI love noodlesThin , made with rice flour to mix with a peanut sauce.Angel hair tossed with red or white sauce.Even ravioli boiled and tossed with olive oil.But ran ramen with butter and pepper is the best.As I am doing better, I will make warm biscuits to go with morning coffeeBiscuitsI glove my hands to mix the dough.Adding melted butter, shredded cheese and chile’s.Adding a little milk until a soft dough is formed.I roll a fat snake and cut pieces to form the biscuits to cook.When I can smell then, they are ready. And what would be morning without a cup of Java.
I take my coffee to the porch.To hear the silence between cricket ‘s chirps and bird songs.A distant solo begins,Followed by another : then more awake and join in the chorus.I feel the sun’s warmth as my coffee cools.Smiling at the morning benediction. “Man does not live by bread alone”. Jesus
Well, today I had PT and OT in one day. I was given wrist strengthening exercises, and finger movements. I showed the therapist that I wasn’t able to push the braille keys with equal pressure causing a poorly formed braille cell.The PT. noted that my confidence in my movement through my home is compromising due in part to the signals the bottom of the feet are sending to the brain.I need to try to stand without support while moving my head. Re-train the brain to trust the body. I had to feel how a quarter turn feels. I have my work cut out for me. but there is very little pain , just stiffness.I am glad that the therapy has finally started.
A Time To Heal
A healing body is funny.It wants to get better but the brain and the body can:t agree what is right.The body would rather lay down.To wait for healing.I am a person of several minds and opinions .So I drag my body upright.To go through the motions again.Healing is hard work.
Well I have been home for 10 days and I received a PT evaluation. No OT . Good thing I didn’t wait for bath instructions. A PT did call last week but his Indian accent and quiet voice would have made it difficult to follow directions. His solution”,”I will just show her” With a totally blind person that means manipulation. I wanted nothing to do with that. You have to advocate for yourself. A reasonable accommodation. is the ability to hear and understand the therapist. I am a co-worker in my therapy sessions.
Now a poem of how some therapy sessions sound.
Go right…no the other right . Turn 180 degrees…keep turning go straight and go forward faster…no! stop you are veering to the left straighten out turn, turn, turn, turn,I have completed a 360 and am totally disoriented Sigh.. this is progress?
Healing gives you surplus time on your hands to pause, dream and remember. I find I think of being able to see . Especially, when I find I have maneuvered my walker into the living room for the third time . I sigh and think about my childhood .I had two old apple trees left from an orchard. One was tall and difficult for me to climb. I used it to escape from the neighbor’s goose.The other tree was in the middle of the yard. It’s branches were low and easy to climb. I loved to climb, sit and pretend that I had a real tree house. When Mother called me to the house, I jumped down into the green grass sea to swim to the house. I loved that tree and would explore each section of the tree with a loving touch.
The Old Apple Tree
In the backyard of my childhood home,stood a gnarled tree, a survivor from an ancient orchard. It’s branches invited me to climb and play. I would imagine that this was my island home in a sea of green .One branch was perfect to recline to read a book.Another long branch invited me to nap.There was a stump of a branch that made a perfect table for my precious treasures.These, I hid in the tree’s hollow.I would spend long afternoons relaxing in the shade of this tree.When I was hungry, I would pick several ripening fruit.I felt safe, protected and hidden from the world.In this place , I could allow my imagination to roam.
Sent from my iPad
My Mother used to tell me,”All in good time or time will heal” I have ample time to reflect on the issue of time and healing. I have found that time varies in how quickly time passes. The more I interacted with others, I didn’t notice the passage of time. Constructive work makes time pass quickly.What can we make from this time? If you have to go through a time of pain and healing, concentrate on others , not yourself. It will keep you connected and you will find you feel better.I was thinking of healthy food and I desired an apple. Here is my poem about apples. Read in good health!
applessweet, tart or juicy red, yellow,green round globesSliced or cut in half, revealing seed star
It is with sadness and joy thatI bid farewell to this life change. I have not asked for this but accepted it.
I wish to thank friends daily and the staff for teaching and sharing
I also wish to Thank John for keeping the phone and talkin to this coffee deprive wife early in the day.You and I have been through a lot.
Finally Thank you to the readers of this topic Thank you with all my heart.
Things can wreak a body
one step a slip or fall
there you are in a new world
of pain, hurt for you and your love ones
You strive to return to what you were
knowin that you are changed
You seek strength in all you touch
But you put your hope in the healer of all
Thank you all for your healing touch
Sleep is important .Wake up
I know that hospitals run on a 24 hour schedule I do not .When I am told that the staff is finished for the night I believe what I am told.
I slip into sleepwear and package the hearing aids for the night. I sleep deeply and am startled several times a night performing certain tasks . I have to point to the ears and wake up while I put in the hearing aids. I am not disturbed with vitals and shots but yesterday, I was startled with a head close to mine she said that I had stopped breathing and was holding an inhale it scared me and i couldn’t get to sleep afterwards.
I still have to tell staff, even blind , I can be startled .
Lord lay me down to sleep
don’t disturb me in the nest
if you call I won’t reply
hearin aids are packed away
allow sleep to heal and cure
I will call you for the rest.
may 20 2020i will be going home with more that i planned on i have a bladder infection This could e due in part, to long use of catheterWhen i arrived at the hospital all i wanted was pain relief and a drained bladder. A week later and I am working to do this simple task I suspect that I had the infection before I came to the hospital , I would not want to learn to self-catheter as a blind person. I have had my share of poor and good draining.I hope to be discharged by Saturday.
hard day walker shuffle are push off from the weak leg I look ahead towards. my goal homeward