August 25, 2020
No I am not talking about Halloween and Tricker Treaters. Or seeing visions where there is nothing. I am talking about what my brain sees with blindness.Even before I was totally blind, I would allow my imagination to look at objects and let my brain come up with the picture to go along with my eye impulses . I could look at a brown rock and see a bear or look at a fence and see two deer. I thought that this would cease when I became totally blind.I was pleasantly surprise when I found that I didn’t see a field of blackness.I have a cycle of a brightness for a whole day and evening, then a gray day for the same amount of time and finally a dark day. There are variations in the days that I can partly control . For example, if it is getting close to bedtime I can mentally turn down the brightness to sleep. If I need to remain alert and I am having a dark day I can decrease the darkness to perceive gray areas. I can increase light or decrease the lightness in gray days.I have not heard about this in any of my blind friends. I take joy that I am not always in total darkness. I have to be cautious to remember that the light or lack of it has nothing to do with light perception . I do have a sliver of real light perception so I can tell the difference. Like a phantom, this cycle of the brain perception may fade and disappear with time. I have this vision for over 5 years and it does not show any fading at this time .********************
Like a thief in the nightThe phantom stalks me to steal my sight.All my line I look behind,I try to run and hide,there he is, we’re side by side.I’m tired of running, giving up the fight,He smiles, and takes my sight.I am left with phantom vision,the mind produces sight revisions.I see light, dark and gray,alternating to mark the days. Not sure if this vision will last,grateful each sighted day that passes. Until it leaves me I will enjoy the sight even if only in my mind’s eye.