traveling up and down the blind highway

My daughter Ruth and I plan to fly to Louisville Early on Wednesday to attend the In Sights Art show as part of APH annual conference. Ruth was excited, pointing out that she and I have never traveled with out John. I have mixed feelings. I was excited, but scared of the unknown and concerned that it would be hard on Ruth. We did a preflight this past weekend by attending a Turnbull family wedding celebration.
Ruth, my son in law Aaron Matthew and myself drove across the state to Northville for the gathering.
After parking , we walked to a restaurant. We found that we were a day late for that place That bar was the place for Friday’s activities. The restaurant Genitti’s was a few doors down the street.
Upon entering, my niece Megan and her husband Amitava were the first to greet us, Followed by my brother Brian, Ann, his wife and the two girls, Eliza and Evie. They wanted to say hi before going to the sitters.
In turn I was hugged by a succession of relatives . After the social hour, the couple reenacted their wedding vows for the guests. Mayor Brian officiated the final vows and blessing of the wedding.
We found our seats with an envelope with each guest’s name at their assigned place. We were paired with My sister in law Karen , her two sons, Steven and Doug and lady friend Crystal. Ruth remembered to place me so my left handed use of utensils wouldn’t jar my neighbor’s elbow. I enjoyed the five course dinner while listening to the noisy highs and lulls of joyful conversation around me. I would occasionally add a comment to the group but I was content to smile at this family of mine.
The dinner was topped with cannoli’s. There were ice ream treats from the Good Humor truck parked outside the door for departing guests.
Ruth took charge of directing where we would travel. She was careful to warn me of drops and curbs to and from the event. My confidence increased as she navigated us around obstacles and people. In turn, I playfully tapped around her legs as she was washing her hands in the ladies room.
I will leave on Wednesday but my worry about Ruth’s ability to keep us safe is put to rest. Louisville, here we come
!
**. poem
Traveling
Arm and arm, with suitcases checked
packs on our backs, walk the terminal track.
Shoeless, scanned, we’re good to board.
Mother, daughter, friends,
Smiling, through the door.
carolaspot@aol.com copyrighted 9/30/24

Most hearing individuals are exposed to the deaf community and sign language through friends or family members. I had a deaf cousin, David. He was older than myself. His Mother didn’t use sign language when communicating with him. She expected him to read her lips. this is about 70% accurate. There are many phonemes that look similar for the lip reader. They must quickly guess what word is being spoken and respond correctly.
My cousin had no family members that would sign. This may be due in part to the philosophy that the deaf should be trained in the oral method or not using signs to help with communication. I remember David frustrated and angry when he tried to talk with his cousins.
When in high school, One of my best friends had two deaf parents. Billy was not deaf but 3 of his four siblings were. Visiting their home, I was bombarded with sounds of a blaring tv, aTTY signal indicating a incoming phone message. The louder the sound, the possibility that they could hear it. I longed to help.
In college, I took a short course in American Sign Language. I was hooked. The use of finger spelling was a challenge. I was not a good speller. I love the movements and the concept basis of hand gestures and positioning the hands in a limited space. I took more courses at Madonna College and earned 16 hours of course work. Stopping short of an interpreter . I wanted to talk with my cousin and friends.
When I married and had a child, I took dance classes with a mother /daughter group. Hawaiian hand movements tell the story, similar to sign language. The feet and hips keep the rhythm of the drums. I easily learned the gestures and choreographed a dozen dances.
Sign language, Hawaiian gestures and nonverbal movements have universal understanding.
The deaf community has been separated by their language. They were expected to learn to accommodate the hearing not the reverse.
Learning and using signs in greetings will bridge the gap with the deaf community.
As we age, we can expect over10 % of the population to have a significant hearing loss. In the United States, 37 million adults will have a hearing loss. Maybe learning sign language is not such a bad idea for all of us.

)**. Poem
I read your lips.
Feel your breath.
I try to see your words.
I guess, and guess again.
Frustrated I slam the door
as I leave the room.
It is hard to be so different from my peers.
I am alone with dark thoughts.I want to understand.

carolaspot@aol.com September22, 2024 copyrighted

Fellow poet and artist Lynda Lambert and myself have been on a journey of growth and discovery. Since January, we have been writing poems and sending them on postcards decorated with a piece of art. We are now 3/4th of the way through the project. For my part, I have grown in the scope and variety of art. Producing art on such a small canvas has expanded my notions of the art process.
At first, I used braille on color paper. The braille was the poem. The dots were the art.
I tried finger paint, pastels, crayons, sharpies, felt markers and acrylic paint. I used layers of paint and cut outs of parts of pictures to make a pleasing design on the postcard. I have incorporated photos of flora and fauna from my yard to add variety. My art is abstract. I move the brush listening to music. The feelings of the moment is reflected in the finished product. I know when the art is complete by how it feels when dried.
Since I have no sight, I rely on my other senses to feel, smell and hear the brush strokes on the paper. Occasionally, I touch my lip with a brush to feel if there is paint on it. The final layer is clear acrylic watered down to give a coat of protection.
I have pushed the limits of the postal service to what is allowed in the mail stream. One of my cards had a cloth flower that was returned needing more postage. A small bead in the centered of the bloom made the card too thick. The card can not be thicker than a quarter inch. The card itself needs to be five by seven inches or smaller. This is so the cards can be sorted by machine. My poems started out with haiku or three line poems. The poems have lengthen using rhyming, tanka and free verse. All to fit on a postcard.
My first task of each day is to find a finished postcard with art. The art may or may not relate to the poem. To find inspiration for the poem of the day, I look to the weather, visitors to the water trough and bird feeder. I print two copies of the poem, one for the card and another for a hard copy for my file. The poem is send to Lynda as an e mail.
We journal daily events in the poems. The important and small events are captured. At the end of the year, we will each have close to three hundred and twenty postcards we have exchanged.
Next year, we will combine the art by month,
adding notes of our written interchanges will add insight into motivation and the process. Below are two examples of the art and poem on the reverse side.

carolaspot@aol.com copyright 9/16/24

Today we celebrate National Teddy Bear Day. The origins of the teddy bear made national headlines when Theadore Roosevelt refused to shoot a treed black bear while on a hunting trip in Louisiana . A cartoon from 1902’s Washington Post highlighted an interaction between the bear and President Roosevelt. An enterprising toy store put two stuffed bears in the window and labeled them Teddy’s bears with the President’s permission.The toy Teddy bears have been popular for over 120 years.
When My daughter was growing up she preferred stuffed animals instead of dolls. Her favorite was a pink bear from “Vitoria’s Secret.” She named him Joey, after the baby kangaroo character “Roo” in the “Winnie the Pooh” children’s stories by author, A A Milne. The stories and cartoons of the toys of Christopher Robin fascinated and captured the imagination of Ruth’s play.
Ruth took her teddy bear everywhere. Over the years, she collected more stuffed friends, Joey remained her favorite. Recently, I asked if she still had Joey? She brought out a well worn and loved bear. The paws pads and nose was shiny from rubbing of little fingers. The coat was faded to the light pink.
“He is too fragile to keep on the bed, I keep him stored safely .” Ruth loves to go to the store, “Build a Bear.” While Aaron was dating Ruth, They went to the store and made the perfect bear to seal their relationship. Some women love jewelry, but my daughter will take a bear as a loving gesture.
So enjoy this special day. Give the gift of a big bear hug to your love.
***. poem
Joey
Given with love for a baby.
Staying with her through her childhood and teens.
He was her favorite, for hugs and comfort.
To look at him now, he’s well worn
with love.
carolaspot@aol.com copyright 9/9/24

This summer, I have been blessed to witness a doe give birth to twins in the neighbor’s backyard. A small flock of turkeys chase each other in the clearing in the woods and skunks, raccoons wash their paws in the water trough. Soon, these sights will cease. Why? The start of hunting season is the answer. Small game, turkey and white tail deer. Hunting season’s vary but they run from September to to December 11th. People walking in wooded areas are encourage to wear bright colors such as orange or bright yellow. Deer are color blind so the bright orange is gray or tan to a deer’s vision.
Turkeys have ability to detect colors but their vision is a narrow field for the best sight. They rely on a sixth sense to identify dangerous shapes. They will retreat from a dangerous situation.
Raccoons, skunks and squirrels are not aggressive by nature but will bite a human if cornered or threaten. They would rather run away.
My brothers and my Dad would go up to the Upper Peninsula to Warners cabins for deer hunting in November. My Dad would recall the last time he and his father went hunting for deer. Grandpa Turnbull wanted to hunt one more time. Dad drove him to the blind, setting up with a seat, coffee and a blanket to stay warm while waiting for the deer to pass by.
“Dad, I will walk a circle and be back in a couple of hours.”
“I’ll be fine Bruce”
With Grandpa’s assurance, Dad started to walk through the woods. When he returned, Grandpa was sipping the last of his coffee. A buck was dressed and hanging in a nearby tree.
“Dad, how did you hang and dress the deer?”
“I had a little help.”
Grandpa did shoot a deer walking by. He couldn’t lift the deer carcass. Another hunter came out of the woods. He had been tracking an injured deer. The hunter agreed to share the deer with grandpa could keep the deer in the tree until my Dad showed up.
My Dad and brothers stayed hunting for a week. I only remember a rabbit dressed in our basement . I have no memories of any deer after Grandpa’s last deer.
My husband John tells a different story about hunting with his Dad and brothers. Dad and the three boys would hunt rabbits in early October. Each of the boys had shotguns. Dad would park on a rural road near state land and lead the boys in a large circle. They would come out within sight of the parked car. Ted, Gene and John would make animal sounds, hit the trees to rouse game scaring any animals to flee. John’s dad stopped carrying a gun, knowing that the boys would scare all the game for several miles. The three meals that the fathers cooked were spaghetti with Ragu sauce. Canned chili and pancakes After a long day in the woods, the boys would eat dinner and then fall asleep. The darkness with oil lamps for illumination encouraged early bedtime.
Going to deer hunting camp was a rite of passage for young boys. Stories of the multi point buck that got away got bigger and the rack grew larger with each telling.
I had my Mom to myself during hunting season. We would take the bus to Detroit to shop for the day and go out to lunch at Sanders sandwich shop.
With many of the hunted animals raging with testosterone, they were thinking of procreating not survival. There are fewer hunters in Michigan’s woods. Though the state land is free to use, the deer population has swelled to two million deer, forcing deer into urban areas. In our little wooded area, there is a doe with twins. We see them coming for seed and water daily.The increase in the number of deer has increased the number of deer/car accidents. Hunters are necessary to maintain a healthy deer population. In the next couple of months, be careful and watch for racing deer.
–*** poem
Deer run
white tail flags interest
two males fence with antlers
The winner gets the doe
If she accepts him.
a racing car puts an end to romance
carolaspot@aol.com September 2, 2024

Growing up in my small town of Northville, we had several opportunities to get ice cream treats delivered to our street. There were two dairies that delivered delights of chocolate covered ice cream on a stick along with milk, butter and heavy cream. The cream was floating on the top of each bottle of milk. My mother would skim the cream and use it in coffee. Twin Pines Dairy and Guernsey Dairy delivered to homes two to three times a week. They picked up the empties and left several gallons of whole milk in the metal rack. But in the summer, we were attuned to the music of the Good Humor truck as it slowly made it’s way through of the town. Exotic confections of chocolate chip cookie sandwiches, orange flavored candy covered bars and ice cream drumsticks with chocolate and nuts toppings. They were more expensive than we could afford for a family of seven. I would watch as others would select and gobble down the cold treats.
One sweltering summer day, I succumbed to temptation. While my mother was in the back yard taking a sun bath, I opened my mothers purse and helped myself to a bill. I was too young to look at the amount but I think it was a five dollar bill. Leaving the house by the front door, I made my way to the corner where the ice cream truck waited. I am sure the neighbors tattled to my mother even as I sat on the corner eating my stolen booty. I had change from the transaction, having no pockets, I dropped the coins inside my top. It had a elastic bottom so the coins wouldn’t fall out.
I went to the front door to put back the change, but the door was locked. Sneaking to the back yard, my mom appeared to be asleep on the lounge. I ran for the door with coins clinking in my blouse.
“Carol Ann Turnbull, come here!”
We all knew that when our complete name was used, we were in trouble. I turned to face the music and Mom. Standing beside the chair, I tried to keep quiet. In one quick movement, my mother grabbed the edge of my top. elastic was stretched causing coins to scatter on the grass.
“Where did you get the money?”
I knew it would be worse if I lied so I confessed.
“From your purse,”
“For what?”
“Ice cream”
I am sure I was punished but my moral dilemma came years later. As a Catholic, we make our first confession in the second grade. I poured over the Boston Catechism . To see if the taking of money was a Venial sin or a Mortal sin. The Boston guidelines stated that during confession if a person forgot to confess a venial sin, they could still be granted absolution. But a mortal sin must be confessed before forgiveness could be given. “Did I steal a 5 or a one dollar bill?” An amount under 5 dollars was a venial sin. “Did putting the change back decreased my sin?”
I tried to forget the incident but every time I went into the confessional, I imagined the sins piling up as sins of omission. Since each class went to confession weekly, The sins were piling up!
I couldn’t take the stress. At the end of one confession, I whispered,”I am sorry for these sins and especially those against the eight commandment.”Father listened and granted absolution . I was off the hook!
**. Poem
absolution
Kneeling in the confessional, I sweated
an old sin weighted on my conscience
taking a bill from my mother’s purse
I had told Mom and been punished
But telling Father?
I tried to find a loophole
amount of money?
I didn’t remember
Could I forget the sin, no way
Finally at the end of my recitation of current transgression
I whispered
“I am sorry for these sins and those of stealing.
Father unknowingly gave the blessing for absolution.
I was off the hook.
carolaspot@aol.com copyrighted 8/26/24

This morning my inner clock reset. This means I slept one to two more hours then normal. This is a documented phenomenon, that is common in blind individuals with little or no light perception. The eye’s perception of light and dark changes helps the brain to set our biorhythm for a 24 hour day. Studies show that a blind persons has a 25 hour day. This means that the individual must have a reset day and sleep in. Normally, this happens on a day I perceive darkness or a dark day, making it easier to sleep and reset my clock. Since retiring, this is part of my normal cycle. When I had to work or participate in a meeting, I had to go to bed early the evening before to receive the needed sleep.
On August 17, we celebrated left handed Day. I am part of this group. Ten percent of the population is left handed. In my family there were three out of seven family members that used their left as the dominant hand. we had set places for meals. My brother Mike and I sat on the same side of the table both being lefties. I always sat on the left corner of any table. So my elbow would not interfere with a person using their right hand. Later, I was seated with my younger brother, Brian who was a lefty like myself.
Mike was ambidextrous . He was able to use both his hands equally well. He played baseball, catching the ball with his right hand and threw the ball with his left. He could draw and write with either hand.
Brian and I were true left handed users. We did all tasks with our dominant left hands.
Tools such a scissors, pencil sharpeners, and table saws are made for the use of right handers. Knitting and crochet patterns are for the same group. Left hander learn to modify, adapt to a right handed world.
Some famous people that are lefties include Barack Obama, Jimmy Carter, Gerald Ford, Ronald Regan, George W. Bush, Whoopi Goldberg, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Sir Isaac Newton ,Aristotle and blind activist Helen Keller.
A large percentage of people in the creative arts are left handed. Some experts speculate that is do in part to learning to think outside the box. Personally, I believe lefties work daily to find solutions to tasks in a right handed world.
**. Poem
Left To Right
face to face
left to right
left is wrong
right has might
creative solutions
bridges far left and right
carolaspot@aol.com 8/19/24 copyrighted

This past weekend, My brother Bob and my sister is law Peggy, visited and stayed overnight. They were traveling from Hamilton Ontario to the west side of Michigan. They were booked to take the ferry from Ludington to cross Lake Michigan to their home in Wisconsin. With the overnight visit, John and I had hours of conversation with Peggy and Bob.
I had not had the opportunity to have such an in depth conversation with Peggy for many years. While John and Bob sat in the kitchen, Peggy and I explored our early family back grounds and early education experiences. I found out that Peggy was shy, due in part to being the tallest girl in her class and being placed in the back of the classroom despite having difficulty reading the board.
I told her about the issues with getting eyedrops four times a day. My drawings in kindergarten had many drawing of a clock face with the hands pointing to five minutes to four. I had to receive an eye drop at four P.M in the middle of my afternoon play time.
Both of us looked and admired our brothers. Peggy’s brother was a straight A student. Peggy’s vision prevented her from doing the same. I was protected and insulated from bullies by my older brothers.
One neighborhood bully after pushing me down, causing my glasses to break, ended upside down in his trash can.
Hearing early stories from living inTexas and Boston filled in missing pages from her history. We found we had much in common with working to prove our worth. Peggy working as a librarian and myself as a Speech Pathologist teaching mentally impaired adults.
I found that we had many common values.
Retired now, we have reading and writing poetry in common. What a joy to find such a gem within my family. Being open helped that and requesting the men leave the room so I could concentrate on listening with all my ability. Conversation is an active skill.
*** poem
The Art of Conversation
listen respond question
little by little, unraveling
each other’s stories
discover a sister
I always wanted
closer than I could imagine
sisterhood
carolaspot@aol.com Copyrighted August 12 2024

This past week, I felt old. I become tired and slow with conversations but this week was a reality check. During of all things, housework.
I use a Swifter to clean and dust the wood floors in my house. I can’t reach under furniture to clean to the backboards. I decided to clean the floors on hands and knees. I could crawl around with old socks, one on each hand, I had to lay on my side to reach to the wall behind furniture. I was surprised that the metal in my hip replacements hurt when I was on my side. Since both hips have titanium parts, I didn’t think about pain. I was feeling the rubbing of the replacement rubbing against the part of hip still there. I had to find some cushioning for that hip when laying on my side.
I mentioned this to my husband John. He confessed that the same day, he climbed into the crawl space to spray for carpenter ants. He also had pain in his knees while working. He had to go to find knee cushions while crawling under the house.
I scoffed when John installed metal handrails on both sides of the stairs. I thought it looked tacky. This is coming from a blind woman. But in the last months, I have relied on the railings more.
Recently, I purchased a titanium white cane with a ball end. It is able to roll from side to side without leaving the ground. It is better to give feedback on uneven ground. The cane is able to support me is I take a misstep.
Both John and I walk slower with smaller steps. We have given up riding the tandem bike . Neither of us can trust our balance.
Before you feel sorry for us, remember, we are still out walking and working around our yard. Aging doesn’t curtail our activities, just the way we do them.
As for the biking, we use the stationary bike until our balance improves. Learning to adapt is the best mental health medicine.

*** poem
My garden of hanging pots decorate the deck
The birds in the woods are listening
night visitors are seen on the security cameras
an occasional butterfly visits my hand
my memories fill in the rest
carolaspot@aol.com

The first attempt to provide help for veterans and sailors disabled in the Revolution war was in 1777. The Federal Government had no ability to fund this help . They looked to the individual states to implement the provisions of the act.
Over the past two hundred years, laws have been created, implemented and challenged by sections of disable groups. Many of the laws restricted the rights of persons with disabilities. The so called Ugly laws, restricted individuals right to appear in public with a physical or mental impairment. Initially passed to curb begging, the laws were interpreted to restrict people’s ability for employment, travel and education. On August 26, 1990, The Americans with Disabilities Act was signed into law. But do we recall the protests of act 504?
This act provided employment to person to be employed regardless of their disability for federal funded programs. The Secretary of Health and Human Services didn’t endorse it as demanded by the April 4th deadline. Boycotts, sit ins, and protests were held nation wide. But the protest in San Francisco were different.
There, protester were organized and firm in their resolve to unite for all disabilities . Over one hundred fifty individuals stormed and occupied the federal building . A normal tactic to combat this type of protest is to cut the phone lines and not allow food, water or medicine for the protesters. The protesters were prepared for this. Members of the deaf community were able to use sign language to inform others outside the building of their needs. several other organizations such the Black Panthers, Grey Panthers, Salvation Army, and religious groups joined to deliver needed items as well as blankets to the buildings protesters. The sit in lasted until the end of the month. After two weeks members of the protesters traveled to Washington to meet with members of Congress and the news media to push for the adoption of Act 504. This enactment in 1978 lead to the disable Act of 1990 that we celebrated on last Friday.
Who were the individuals responsible? Many were leaders in disability rights. Others were at the rally and joined the walk to occupy the federal building. They were diverse. But the groups that continued to protest and support the sit in were a larger groups from many walks of life. They were in wheel chairs, blind, deaf and had illness such M S, mental and cognitive issues. Or their family members did. They were not asking for charity but an equal chance for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
In this time of differences may we remember the past and look to the future for a better life for all.
*** Poem

Future Generation
I see the future in my daughter’s eyes.
who doctors stated,”She won’t live a year.”
Outlasting their dire predictions.
A loving and accomplished woman, daughter and wife.
I thank God for the gift
of you in our lives.
Happy Birthday Ruth.
carolaspot@aol.com July 29, 2024