traveling up and down the blind highway

Two months ago, I was invited to share my process and insights on producing craft art for the APH Insight Art Contest. I have participated with the show for the last 5 years. My friend and fellow artist recommended me to APH after she turned them down due to a full schedule.
Carol, you are so engaging,” Lynda continued, they will love you.”
So last Wednesday, I called in on zoom to talk about my art and encouraging children who are visually challenged to try art. I had no photos, notes or examples of my art. I did have stories and shared interactions with fellow artists for the past five years.
How does a blind speaker know if he or she is connecting with their audience? I listen for audience response. The number of questions asked tells me if the audience is engaged and enjoying themselves.
The best laugh was in answer to a mother who had a blind daughter who doesn’t want to try art.
Thinking we were talking about a child, I started to talk about finding materials for the child to explore.
“O no,” she responded,
“She is eighteen!”
I replied,”Well, my daughter just turned thirty. She is just starting to listen to me.”
I added,” Wait a couple of years and you will be amazed how smart your teenagers will think you have become.”
I spoke about increasing opportunities to learn the artist craft and display artwork. I told the story about researchers study of the the lack of art majors. They found that if kindergarteners are asked if they can draw an object, most will answer yes and demonstrate their skill.
In the middle elementary school years, less than half of the children will respond that they can draw.
By the time the students are in high school, only one or two will indicate that they can draw. If this is true of students with no disability, how much more must we encourage, promote and support artists with a disabilities?
I my own experience, six years ago, I attended an art contest locally called ,”Art Prize.” The art was displayed all over the city in many venues. When I asked to feel a piece, the answer was, “
no.” I had to explain that I was an artist and that is the way I see the art.
This last year, there were signs that encouraged people to touch a piece of sculpture or 3 D art. The art world is slowly changing to include more than vision to enjoy art. Art is for all.

***

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Don’t touch!
Stand back!
Stay behind the barrier.
“Monet would never tolerate this!” I mumbled at his exhibit of his work.
He painted at different proximities to his work.
Far away to see the whole picture.
Close to paint what he saw.
Blurred waterlilies.
carolaspot@aol.com 10, 10, 2022.

This weekend, I talked with my sister-in-law Karen, about her trip to Scotland. She reminded me of many places that I had seen in Scotland. One of the most interesting memories was visiting an old Scottish chapel high on the North Sea coast surrounded by fields. This chapel was so old that it only had part of the roof and two walls to keep it together. There was a beautiful window that did look out on the sea. What I remember the most was the old cemetery. To walk into the cemetery one had to go through a cattle gate or a gate that had two turns in it to keep the sheep out. Once in the cemetery one could wander through 12 inch tall grass to see the old monuments. Most of them were very simple. One in particular caught my eye. It was newer than the rest and could be read easily as it was not as worn as others.
This one was inscribed “in memory of our daughter gone but not forgotten ,she traveled to America and has not been heard of since”. The idea of never seeing a child again after she left her homeland was sad but inspired me to think of all of the people who left their lands to come to America. How many of us have tales of immigrants in our families? In my own family, I have tales of relatives and ancestors coming from Scotland to Canada and England to America. My husband’s family has tales of his grandparents both coming from Poland to this country for new opportunities.
These tales are woven into our family history. As I think of what is happening now in our world I am reminded that these people are also looking for a better life, what do we do now in our world, to make life better for ourselves and for each other? Those immigrants built communities to help each other, what are we doing to help people who are new to our community. We may think there are more differences now than in the past. In reality we are all humans and all have similar needs and wants. Do we look for what is similar or do we emphasize the differences in each other. I am glad that my grandparents were able to make the leap from the old world to the new. Can we make the leap from our old ideas of family and community to encompass more of the world. I find I have an easier time ignoring some of these physical differences because of visual impairment. But we all have our prejudices and instead of emphasizing differences, I would suggest that we look for similarities in those that we meet. How do we greet new people in our community? Do we ignore them, do we assist them in finding things or do we angrily turn against them? Building community can be messy, but building walls can be more harmful.

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When I was in high school, my choir sang a song,”No Man is an Island,” by John Dunn. It was a part of a meditation series. Other writers have used the metaphor of human interactions building bridges to each others. Below are the words that I remember:
“No man is an island. No man stands alone.
Each man’s are dreams for me.
Each man’s life is my own.
We need one another, so I will defend,
Each man as my brother,
Each man as my friend.”

---

John Dunn, 1955

October 3, 2022
Carol Farnsworth
carolfarn@aol.com

John Chapman, better known as Johnny Appleseed was a pioneer from Pennsylvania. His goal was as he moved west from Pennsylvania to Ohio, Indiana, Illinois and Ontario was to plant apple seeds along the path that people were taking west. He said “this is so that people will have something to eat along their travels westward”. Many people have heard of Johnny Apple seed but most think he is a story rather than a real person.
John Chapman was born in 1774 and traveled first with his family and then by himself through several states dying in 1849. The Midwest can thank Mr. Clemens for the number and variety of apples that you will find in this area. Also apples from the original plantings have been found as far south as Northern West Virginia.
As a young girl, my Girl Scout troop would sing a song about Johnny Appleseed. And it went like this:
All the Lord is good to me
and so I thank the Lord
For giving me the things I need
The sun and the rain and the Apple seed
The Lord is good to me.
Traditional song about Johnny Appleseed author unknown
So today when you reach for that delicious fresh apple think of the pioneer who thought of his people to come behind him and he tried to put in plants that they could enjoy and eat.

carolfarn@aol.com 9/26/22

Today I go to the surgeon to see if I need any more assistance mending my broken arm. About three weeks ago I broke the upper part of my left arm and they have been at a loss to type or write any notes. I am now trying to use dictation to make my emails and notes. It is long and slow work. First of all, I thought I could do this. Unfortunately dictation is not as easy depending on your program. The punctuation and capitalization may or may not be put into your writing. I have found it very difficult to remember to say the words for punctuation, capital and so forth. Yesterday I got the bright idea let's try the brailer! I have an electric brailer and it should be easy to push those keys with one hand. How wrong I was. First of all a brailer is set up with a left and right hand and spaces to easily use . When I tried to use the brailer it was easy to push the keys but I can't make complete cells. I need that left arm. What to do in my desperation, I made one side of the letter backspaced and then made the other side of the letter. Long slow and tediously I wrote my note. The only saving grace was that I could read this one-handed giving me an opportunity to read a note while on a call. You may wonder, why is it so hard to type one-handed well, they didn't put my arm in a cast. It is hanging by my side in a sling and when I move it moves a different direction. It is supposed to be set with the weight of the arm holding it in place. I can't wait to have something solid on that side again. So wish me luck, and hope for the best.

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Tick tock like a clock my arm moves back and forth

It can’t take weight but hangs like a sack
disturbing to me that when I move it throws my movements off
tick tock like a clock I can’t believe it’s time to stop
carolaspot@aol.com 9/19/22

This week I have found that I have more issues with technology I recently broke my left wrist and upper arm and cannot write any information with typing. Finding a dictation program has been cumbersome, finally the Voice Dream Rider program puts commas periods in the right spots. Hopefully this will help other people to do programs. It’s not perfect but it is better than trying to type one-handed. Often I have to repeat or have the spellcheck look to see if my dictation was correctly interpreted. Now by the time I get this perfect maybe I will go back to writing or if I get good at dictation maybe I’ll stay with dictation. Below is a copy of my blog from all technology and old brains from 2021

Tech versus an old brain
We live in a wonderful time when there are many assistive devises to help blind people with mobility, identifying, labeling and using computers and smart phones. All this technology can be confusing to an old brain.
The other day I was using my smart phone to participate in a blind teleconference. My phone lost the phone page just as I was asked a question. I had to hang up and redial. This took several minutes. When I finally returned to the conference, I told them that I had technical difficulties . The whole group understood. We all have had difficulties with assistive devises.
I have a blue tooth speaker that talks into my hearing aids. But I have found that if I an too close to my husband who is also using a blue tooth listening devise I will get a echo of his book. It sounds like gibberish because he plays his books very fast.
I have used my I-pad to look up recipes and information. Usually I ask the assistive helper Seri to find the information. Many times Seri misunderstands and can’t locate the information quickly. When I finally locate the correct web page, I find that I must sign up for access to a website.
I have not learned my limits. I have recently signed up for a virtual eyes program, digital tags to use in the kitchen and a recording devise that will help me with locating and storing my patterns for knitting . I can just see this happening , I go to find a yarn color that has been tagged. The tag tells me the yardage, weight and material but not the color, is’t a number rather that a color. I get the recorder to find a pattern and find I must listen to several hours because I forgot to insert titles and bookmarks for each pattern. I go to get the phone to find the printed pattern in the book. The apps reads part of the pattern but starts over when it thinks that it had a better angle for the document.When it finally reads the pattern it makes little sense because the knitting abbreviations make no sense to the program.
I find that it would be easier to get my husband to help me. But I am determined to be independent . Technology takes a lot of time and effort I hope that this old brain of mine can handle it

We still have a home phone to screen unknown callers. If I recognize the voice or the caller identifies himself, I will pick up before the caller hangs up. This has been a good system. Most of our friends and family’s calls are answered.
Today my curiosity got the best of me. As the phone rang, I picked up the receiver.
“Hello.”
A slight pause. Then the pitch started.
“Congratulations! you have won an adjustable bed.”
Not bothering to say goodbye, I hung up the phone.
I started to think of the number of junk emails that I delete regularly.
Pitches of morning stretches , endurance training and relaxation for health have been replaced with gummies to give relief from arthritic pain , better brain function and lowering cholesterol . When did the ads for a better sex life change to living longer?
Peppered in the notes are offers for free samples for such needed items as wrinkle creams and salves. Instead of gutter guards for the home.
I wonder if anyone reads these come ons ?
Then I remember that the targeted group includes older single people. The welcome sound of a live voice on the other end of the line, may fool older person’s with the start of dementia to think they may know the caller. Often a senior may talk to this stranger because they are bored.
Friends have told horror stories of large checks written with their spouse’s signature on the check. When asked about the check, they may have no memory of the event.
Aside from taking all checks and access to internet buying away from our love ones , what can we do? It depends on your ability to talk and trust your partner. Talk about pitches as they happen so each of you are aware of the calls. Monitor each other with questions about the transaction and the result.
The reality is all of us are mentally slowing down as we age. The new callers are quick to pick up on a lonely person or a person that is not hearing as well on the phone. They may even resource to pretending to know you or your spouse.
Though our training is to be polite, it is best to hang up on such callers. Talking only encourages more return calls. If the caller wants to get credit card information, hang up. After, check with the business to see if they really work at the business.
My husband’s Mother was fooled by a young man pretending to be her grandson. He requested money and told her not to tell my husband. That sent up alarms in our minds.
So be smart. Don’t answer the phone until you are sure of the person on the other end.

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Ringing

The phone rings with a cheerful note.
Hoping to hear a familiar voice,
you pick up the phone.
Instead a robotic voice asks for funds.
Sighing, you hang up.
When was the last time I had a friend call?
Picking up the phone, I place a call from my phone book.
Carolfarn@aol.com 9/5/2022

This past week the weather was perfect. The sun was warm only in the afternoon. Early mornings and evenings the air cooled into the 60’s. But when the sun goes behind a cloud the hint of fall is in the air.
At the feeder, I had fourteen wrens trying to get a bit of seed and suet. I imagine, they are gearing up for migration to a warmer climate. I looked up in the canopy of bitter sweet vines to see sparrows, doves and a male cardinal ,waiting their turn at the feeder.

As they waited, 4 large turkeys sauntered through the backyard. Pausing to get a drink from the trough, while the largest one scratched for fallen seeds.
Even the chipmunks and squirrels are gathering food for the season ahead. This morning, one bold squirrel sat in the middle of a flower pot and leisurely devoured every flower bud. Turned his back to me as if to say,”What are you going to do about it ?”
People are changing sports activities from swimming and baseball to football and soccer. In the evenings, there are fewer walkers as families are completing homework.
This season of change is a reminder that we are given a certain number of fall days to use and enjoy. We can gather red pinecones to give to the DNR for future trees or we can ignore nature’s needs.
So put out some Indian corn. Spread a large pinecone with peanut butter and roll in sunflower seeds. Keep the water full for those migrating visitors.

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Migration

Busy bees gather goldenrod nectar.
Storing honey as food for winter.
Wrens, cranes and geese start their migration south.
They call to others to join the flock’s formation.
Squirrels and chipmunks are gathering seeds and buds to keep them through the winter cold.
Caterpillars form cocoons to emerge from in the spring, reborn.
Deer are fattening themselves on the discards of garden harvests.
A time to gather, to prepare, for another cold bitter winter.
I watch and turn to follow nature’s example.
carolfarn@aol.com
Aug/29/2022

At our disposal, we have many tools to aid in communication. We have I Phones, I pads and computers ,we have come a long way from Alexander Graham Bell’s patent for the telephone. Controversy has surrounded the original invention . Who was the first person to get to the patent office?
Bell shares the inventor bragging rights with Antonio Meucci. He was said to have lost the patent for lack of funds. Bell’s lawyer was first to the patent office. His lawyer and another inventor named Gray filed patents on the same day within hours of each other.
I had time to ponder these and other facts as I tried to use a smart phone to change a reservation at a hotel.
First I called the hotel where I was told to select from numbered options.
“Press one if you want to make a reservation.”Press two to change or cancel a reservation.”
I pressed 2 and waited. I was given a similar list of options. Finally, I was asked by a robotic voice to state my changes. I received an email stating that I would have to contact the hotel directly to make any changes.
“Great! That was I thought I was doing.”
I tried again and closely listen to my options. One of the selections was a chat. I didn’t want to chat, because I have a hearing impairment and thought I would miss some important information.
After trying several other options I found a chat option with typing prompts. This I could use with voice over on my phone.
I was connected to a loop system that put in line for a representative .
I had no information as to how many people were in the virtual line ahead of me.
I put down the phone and started to look up information on my I Pad. I was looking for assistance for special needs. I waited for fifteen minutes. I didn’t know if I was still connected. Looking at my screen, my husband noted that typing was appearing on my screen. I had turned voice over off and had no sound.
There was a real person typing on the other end of the phone. I entered the problem and resolved the issues of getting another night’s lodging. The change took over a half an hour.
On the screen I never noted a way to get special assistance. I was registered as a visually impaired participant at a conference.
Bell’s controversy continues to today’s smart phones.
I long for the time when I could make a call and wait for another person to answer.
Even when I call my primary care specialist, I have tiers of questions, and need to respond with number selections. There is always the added comment,”If this an medical emergency , hang up and call 911.”
One of these calls, I will have a real emergency. When a person finally answers, I will be gone.

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Hello?

Hello”
“Please stay on the line for the next operator.”
“Press one to select the extended care center.”
“Please wait as your call is transferred.”
You are next in line .”
elevator music plays.
Pushing to turn down the volume, the phone is disconnected.
“Hello?”telephone.
Carol Farnsworth
August

Most of us are not consciously aware of passing time and how we are aging. We can see or hear the changes in our family and friends. Most of us don’t see the changes in ourselves.
Because of my lack of vision, I tell my friends that the mental portrait of their appearance is from years ago. They are all dark haired and wrinkle free. My friends laugh and love that image.
Lately, I have gotten signals that my inner vision needs fine tuning. When I approach a door to a building, another adult rushes to open and hold the door for me. This has been happening even when I am walking with my husband.
Strangers are more apt to touch my arm or pat my shoulder while we are in conversation.
When I was ordering my new hearing aids, the ear pieces come in a dozen colors. Both my husband and the audiologist suggested that the dark grey would match and blend with my hair color. I had thought of my hair as a dark brown becoming a lighter brown with age.
Do we have to adjust our perceptions to others? I don’t feel the same as I did as a 40 year old, but I am not as frail as some think.
Aging should change how we treat our bodies and our minds. I have adapted the attitude,”one day at a time.” If this day is a day that I feel strong, I can do more. If I feel weak or limited , I will relax more and nap. This life is a gift, to use to help ourselves and others. Smile, interact and bring joy into the world. Stop and smell the daisies even if you can’t see them. Enjoy each step along your life’s journey, thanking God for the blessings.

****

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Aging
A sprout grows quickly but can be crushed.
The sapling bends with each gust of the wind.
The small tree gathers water and food as it’s roots anchor life to the earth.
Season by season, we grow besides each other, giving strength to weather the storms.
We gather age marks with time spent in living. Finally, we give ourselves back to the creator with faith that our lives were well spent.
Carolaspot@aol.com August 15, 2022

It was a cool spring morning on froggy pond. Early risers were practicing swimming and distance hopping. Occasionally there was a tussle when two frogs tried to catch the same fly. But all and all, There was harmony in the froggy pond. Until the Toad family moved in.
The toad was one in a circle of frogs. He kept to himself and didn’t go near the pond. He preferred the cool darkness of his burrow. When a frog saw him he would jump into the pond and swim away.
As will happen with most species, the toad found a mate and had little ones. Now the frogs noticed that there were many small brown toads competing for the choicest insects. The small toads would show aggressive behavior towards the frogs.
Froggy pond was not the same habitat. Some frogs decided to find another pond. Other frogs started a campaign to limit where the toads could live. A few took matters into their own legs and started to meet aggression with more aggression. This led to groups division and decreasing interactions.
Soon the rumors about toads spread. Toads would cause frogs to become ill. The toad population would overpopulate the pond making it unfit for frogs. Frogs were the wrong color and would change the habitat causing toads to die.
Some of the rumors had some basis in truth. Toads rarely liked ponds. They enjoyed a drier terrain. Except for mating season, the toads preferred to not be social. Frogs prefer marshes, ponds and other wetter areas. They would avoid each other except if a larger toad or frog looked at the amphibian as food.
At times, we are toads and frogs. Though there are more similarities than differences, the differences seem to hold more weight .
I know that comparing frogs and toads to people is not the same. We could learn a lesson from nature. If given proper introduction and space, frogs and toads can co-exist. The groundwork must be prepared with forethought. Lets hope that we can be as smart as toads and frogs when it comes to sharing our neighborhoods. Put aside the rumors and find the truths about each other. If toads and frogs can live together , why, can’t we?

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“It’s Not Easy bein Green”, Kermit the frog croons a song about being green.
At one time or another, we see our differences
as barriers to relationships.
We would like the world to be like us.
But the differences make us unique, special.
Being blind, I don’t see the visual differences that mark us.
Kindness in others can be heard in the voice.
Listening to others with an open heart could soften our attitude.
to make us color blind.
Carolaspot@aol.com Aug 8, 2022