Going through my email, I am often struck by the minor complaints and worries that bloggers write about. Now as I reflect on the last few weeks and wonder what changes I will see in John as he heals, I am the one who will share.
John went through heart surgery to repair his valve, then the next day he had a series of surface strokes on both sides of his brain. Though I did therapy with stroke victims in my past professional life, and had my own experience recovering from a stroke, it did not prepare me for the emotional outbursts and mood swings that have affected John. There were days when I wanted to double check the room number to see if I had the correct person. As a wife, I have tried to take the brunt of the verbal abuse and anger.
Yesterday, John should have expected Ruth and I at lunch time. Ruth knocked at the door as John was wrapping a call.
“I guess the marriage is over.” John spoke into the phone. As we left the room, my daughter burst into tears. I wrapped my arms around her to comfort her the best that I could.
“But mom, I saw the angry facial expression he had.” What could I say? I could only hear the inflection and the harsh dismissal from his room. We stopped at the nurse’s station to leave the clothes and treats. Glancing at her phone Ruth read aloud
“You can come back but leave your mom outside.” I spent the time checking my email and Ruth returned.
“Dad thinks that you are challenging his perspective and his therapy.” I had asked several questions, but only to clarify what was said and to make sure that I heard correctly. A kindly doctor then approached, introducing himself.
“I am Dr. Harriss. I think your husband had a bad reaction to one of his medications and that drug is still in his system affecting his moods” He then suggested that I could take a break from visiting John for a day or so. I had visited for the last seventeen days in a row. So today I am staying home and wondering how Ruth’s visit is going. I guess I will find out soon enough.
I am reminded of the play,”Our Town”by Wilder
In the scene at the funeral, Emily Wilder takes her place among the dead. She longs to relive a day.
The dead warn her to pick a normal day. She picks her twelfth birthday.
Trying to get the attention of her mother and her father. The day spins too rapidly.
Finally Emily asks to return to the grave. She laments,
“The living don’t see all the lost moments, how wonderful life is.”
I am reminded to be mindful for each day I am given. I hope the same for you.
email@example.com February 13, 2023
One thought on “Perspectives, February 13, 2023, 488 words”
Thank you for your honesty in sharing this. During this time you have remained a model of strength and grace. We hope that this phase of John’s recovery passes quickly.